Before I go into the main topic, I would like you all to welcome our new member of this family. That is Roan's boyfriend!!! Alvin! Since Roan is our Empress Dowager, Alvin will become our Emperor. Sad to say however, that means Roan is now an Empress cos` an Empress can become an Empress Dowager only when her husband has passed away. So yea, you are now just an Empress! LOL~
Therefore, like Singapore, we see pictures of our President and First Lady everywhere. Thus, in this Kingdom of 7 Flowers, we need to have their picture posted up too!
Our Emperor and lovely Empress!On to the main topic of the day. Rêves. This mean, "Dreams" in French. I am sure some of you already know about what I am to blog. But yes, I am still gonna blog it down so as to keep track of it. Journalise it.
(Not debit or credit it!) It is also interesting to read back and see the dreams I have. So from today onwards, I am going to keep records of my dreams in here. Some might be funny, some might be sad. Who knows? Let me get moving on anyways.
I am sure everyone have dreams. Be it good or bad, it somehow leaves an impression on you and soon after, you forget about it. I had my fair share of good and bad dreams. Some were logical and some just totally preposterous. People once told me that dreams affect their emotions for the upcoming day. I never believed and experienced it until last night.
Before I go any further, this post will contain really mushy things and things that I have no courage to say it out through my mouth. Reading this might induce some "eee!" or "eeyer!" and perhaps some laughter. It is alright that you laugh. But just keep the laughter to behind the computer screen. I don't think I would be in the mood to hear anyone laugh in front of me about this issue here. And I wish this wouldn't affect your opinion on anyone else I mention in my dreams cos` this is just my subconscious diggin out random thoughts to entertain me in the night.
So I was just saying how dreams can affect people's emotions for the day. This dream I had made me really very happy and at the same time, sad. I can explicitly
(Shu Yun, remember there is a letter "i" in this word.) remember every single detail of the dream I had last night. Right down to every single word I said in the dream. Da jie told me if I remember the dream, it most probably wouldn't come true in life. On the other hand, Roan told me that her's came true. It was kind of difficult for me to believe both of them. One was positive and the other negetive. What do you all think?
Saying so much, I am sure you people roughly know what my dream consists of. Yes. It is indeed about her. My dream went like this.
I was on my way to meet her. I remembered clearly that one of the things we are supposed to do together was to have a morning walk in a park when she returns. So that morning, I took a bus to her house and met her downstairs. She was wore a dress which was really nice. So we hopped on the bus 156 to Bishan park. Throughout the bus journey, we didn't really say much but she told me how it was like studying in a foreign country. I was listening attentively.
Not long after, we alighted and started our walk in Bishan park. As usual, I felt really happy just being able to see her. Walking and conversing with her early that morning felt like the best feeling I have had in ages. She told me of what her study scope was, how the lecturers were like and some of her friends she made there. I, on the other hand, was telling her how boring my life here in Singapore is. I also mentioned to her that I have found a group of poly friends which recognised me during my first year of studies. How they have made my school life more vibrant and interesting. So we just spent about an hour walking around and enjoying each other's company.
We came to the pond after walking around for quite some time. She wanted to sit down on the grass. So I complied and sat down with her. Just at this moment, she looked at me sitting down and I looked right into her face and her eyes. It was as though that whole instance passed by very slowly as I looked into her eyes with full of feelings for her. Feeling slightly embarrassed, I quickly averted her eyes and just looked at the pond.
She asked me, "So how have you really been all these time?"
I thought for awhile and said, "Pretty all right. Troubled at times and feeling completely helpless sometimes."
"What about your love life?"
I kept quiet and acted like I didn't hear what she asked.
She didn't say anything either. In my heart, I actually wanted her to ask once more. I decided that if she asked again, I would bare my feelings to her. I waited for her for such a long time. It was time that I let it all out.
We just sat there enjoying the breeze and view. Where out of the sudden she asked me again.
"What about your love life?"
I was taken aback. Feeling all confused inside. I turned my head slowly and looked into her eyes. I was contemplating to tell her. Plucking up all the courage I ever had, I finally decided to tell her my feelings.
"(Let's call her, Lynnette) Lynnette. I have something to say. You have a moment to hear me?"
"Go ahead."
"For five long years, I have waited. Just for this day. Longing to let my feelings out. I remember the first day I saw you in school. You really attracted me. At that period of time, I never thought I could become your friend at all and all I could be was just some stupid secret admirer. Somehow, we ended up as best friends. I am really happy that we became best friends. Yet also sad that we are best friends. Being your best friend also meant that my chance of ever having you by my side as my girlfriend is diminished. I sometimes hate it so much so that I wished I never was your best friend."
There was a long pause. I knew I was trembling with fear and was stuttering the whole time. She broke the silence.
"And your point being?"
After that, I didn't know what to say. I was there, close to tears and my mind was just working overtime. I just blurted out whatever came to my mind.
"Lynnette. I love you. All these time, I kept it to myself. I never dared tell you my feelings until today cos` I know how you feel and what the conclusion will be. I know of many reasons of why you should not accept me. However, I am just chasing this stupid notion of us being a couple cos` of my feelings for you. I know I am not as handsome as many other guys you see around me, neither am I as manly as them. I have different aspirations from you and you are stronger in character than I am. If we are together, you will be the stronger player in this game. That will totally give you no sense of security at all. I can understand all these.
No matter how much I wish I could beg you to even consider the slightest probability of us being together, I can't. I do not want you to pity me. Someone once told me that I could protect you even though you are my best friend. But, it is not the same as protecting you if you are mine. I totally am feeling lost and confused right now. I have no idea how things will continue right now. Yet I am afraid of losing..."
"Xin. Say no more."
All these while I was looking into her eyes and somehow, just that sentence of her's calmed me down entirely. At that moment, she leaned forward and gave me a kiss on my lips.
I was stunned. I was taken aback and my eyes were wide open and I didn't breathe at all. After that, she just turned her head and looked straight at the pond. I was still shocked and looking at her. I did not know what to say. I looked stupid.
With tears rolling down from my eyes and staring into the space, I was jolted out of my shock when she said something.
"Don't you have something you want to ask me?"
A thousand thoughts was like running through my head when she asked me that question.
"What the hell could she mean?! Is she hinting me something? What if she rejects me? What am I supposed to do?"
Somehow, as if by magic, I knelt down and looked dead straight into her eyes.
"Lynnette, I love you. Would you please be my steady girl?"
I was terrified by what answer she would give and yet still held a hope that good things might happen. I saw her mouth move. I heard nothing. Only with a single nod from her head, I understood everything. That moment, I was already crying. I never smiled so happily in my life before.
Like an angel descending from the heavens, she spread her arms out and came over to hug me. Like a bloody weakling I always am, I cried in her arms.
After I had calmed down, I looked at her and asked her.
"I am not dreaming about this am I?" (Oh for heaven's sake! You are of cos` dreaming about this! Stupid Dragon!)
She shook her head and just looked at me.
"Are you serious about your decision then? You really are going to be my steady girl? It isn't a joke right?"
"No, it isn't a joke. Yes, I am serious about my decision."
On hearing those words, I was just elated! I looked at her and then leaned forward to kiss her once more. From there, I literally jumped for joy! I was jumping all around and punching my fists in the air and shouting like a crazy person ala the Singapore drama serial people who does the same thing when the guy successfully asks the girl for her hand. That is when I accidentally tripped over a stone and fell into the pond. Surprisingly, I didn't know how to swim and soon I was gasping for air.At that moment, in real life, I could not breathe for that one moment and I woke up with a jolt gasping for air. When I awoke from this beautiful dream, I felt happy and also a huge immense of sadness. Then I went to school.
So this is the first dream I have recorded and it is one that I really want to remember. Whether it will come true or not, I think it is something for me to read back in future. Just remember not to laugh about this in front of me. Just keep it to laughing behind the computer. At least I do not know if you really did laugh or not.
To whom may read this, this is just purely a dream. Although it very much reflects my feelings, I still want to keep things under wrap. If you know about it, please do not let me know. I don't think I am ready for that moment of truth yet.
